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Another sex dream without any actual sex.

I'm still only remembering bits and pieces - the only time I've had dreams with complex, memorable plots is when I was on Doxycycline for my acne - the side-effects are weird, vivid dreams and increased vulnerability to sunburn. (neither of which my doctor warned me about. Skin cancer, here I come!)

I was going to meet a friend of mine, an old flame from a previous city. We'll call her "Tibet". The idea was that she was single and hot for me ("in my dreams!") and so we were going to meet up and have a lot of sex.

I went and fetched her from the train, and nibbled on her ear. I'm a mad-keen ear-nibbler, and she was reacting in all the right ways. It was definitely a sex dream, but none of the sex was on my part - it was all moans and groans and flushed skin from Tibet* and it was lovely, but the intercourse was only implied.

The geography was important - we were at Southern Cross station, in Melbourne city, trying to find the tram that goes to my house. Twice during the dream I saw "the new kind of mini-trams that don't need tracks". They weren't trams for the transportation of the public, they were like emergency tram repair units, and they were tiny, no bigger than a coffin. At one point a car drove onto the tram tracks (in an area where you really can't do that) and I shouted at him.

Skip forward to post-sex (not just so that I don't have to describe it, this is literally how the dream played out.) I think I may have woken up in between everything before this paragraph and now, looked at my phone, and then gone back to sleep, because I remember at one point waking up and thinking "Damn it! Why did I have to wake up before all the sexy sex?"

Post-sex, not only was Tibet there, but ANOTHER old flame (who we will call Chairman Mao for privacy reasons) had appeared, and apparently we had had sex as well. They were both fine with it, as was I. (obviously)

Chairman Mao is a real-life relationship of mine that ended less than ideally, and the only contact I've had with her in the last year or so is a post-script on a message I received from her current boyfriend.

It was revealed through conversation that she had no idea about this message, that the boyfriend had made it all up to keep us apart, and even though she was still with him, they had an "open relationship" which entailed a week off a year where they could go and fuck whoever they wanted. And she had wanted to fuck me. Freud, eat your heart out.

Gavin was there too, briefly, in a completely non-sexual context.

So the boyfriend (who we will call Atkins Diet) appeared. The "hey you forged a message from me" thing never came up, and Chairman Mao said at least once "Atkins Diet, this is our week off. Go have sex with someone else." but he refused to leave (he genuinely is a bit of a knob, so this makes sense.)

At this point it all gets a bit vague again. I remember Chairman Mao and Atkins Diet having sex in front of us, during conversation, which we all felt a bit awkward about. (also because he is unattractive.) I remember him trying to take photos of things (I watched One Hour Photo immediately before going to sleep) and I remember throwing his camera over the fence. I remember a discussion about "sex-farts", as they were referred to in the dream, or "quiffing" as they're known elsewhere. I remember being really happy that the post-script in the message wasn't really from her. And I remember, for the second dream in the row, saying to Atkins Diet "You're dumb, aren't you? You genuinely are dumb." (unlike my mum though, he actually is.)

But most of all, I remember waking up disappointed that none of it was real. Not the sex part (though that's obviously disappointing too) but the fact that neither of these gorgeous girls who used to be mad for me are any more. They're both happy in other relationships, which is nice for them, but I miss them both like crazy, even as friends. (they both live many states away these days.)

*first time that sentence has ever been written.

January 2011

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